Worth The Wait - Part 1

A few weeks ago my best friend texted me a song he wanted me to listen to before my wedding called Death of a Bachelor by Panic at the Disco. While listening to the song it finally hit me that I will never again be single, no more dating and that this part of my life will forever be behind me. I started to remember all the conversations I had with my friends over the years about dating and all the women that have come in and out of my life. I had flashbacks of all the heartache, excitement and nervousness that went into the dating life style. My mind began to think about all the books I had read on dating, blogs and dating sites that I dabbled in and I couldn't help but wish someone would be honest with me. I remember wishing someone would sit me down and tell me the best path to finding the perfect someone for me. Now that I am happily married, I felt like I needed to share my journey in hopes to inspire, encourage or influence others to help find someone who is worth the wait.

Five years ago I began walking out my faith with the Lord when I committed my life to follow Jesus Christ. This meant I could no longer do things my way and that included dating. I remember the first time I took a Christian girl on a date I leaned in to kiss her goodnight and she turned and gave me the cheek. I was disappointed to say the least. I spent some time that evening asking God to help me in the dating process when I heard him impress on my heart that I have no clue how to date. I had been dating for 10 years now, what do you mean I have no clue on how to date. Then I heard a powerful message on dating by Andy Stanley which challenged those who are single to not go on a date for an entire year. He promised at the end it would you make you a better husband and a better person.

So I took a year off dating. In that year I turned down multiple dates, refused to be set up on blind dates and didn't entertain the idea of a relationship with anyone. It was hard at first but then I felt relieved from all the pressure that society puts on you. People have the idea that if you don't have a significant other than there must be something wrong with you. In that year, God shaped my heart into a better man. I focused on loving those around me well. I read books on how to be a better husband and how to set boundaries. It finally dawned on me that being a great husband and father doesn't start once I have a wife or kids but it starts with building Godly character in the present. I needed something to help keep my mind occupied on who I wanted to be so I started a journal that I would dedicate to my wife. I dreamed of giving it to her the day we got married. If there were nights where I felt alone or upset, I would write to her, not even knowing who she would be or what she would be like. Sometimes months would go by before I remembered to write her but when I took the time to journal, it reminded me that she is real, she is out there, breathing, living and that one day I would say "I Do". I am thankful for this journal because God always reminded me that I had to fight for her, that many people and things were going to come into my path to try to distract me, change me or influence me away from the Godly man that she deserved.

Friends I know many of you are single right now wondering when Mr. Right or Mrs. Perfect is going to cross your path. I know the feeling of making every person who walks into the coffee shop a contender for your heart.This thought process is a distraction. As a single person I urge you to become the right person rather than look for the right person. You may only be single for a season but that is the time you need to be working on yourself and who that person deserves. My pastor said something during a sermon that stuck with me in my dating process. He said  "God gives you a choice, choose wisely". It never dawned on me that I could choose wrong and that it might not be the person I wasn't supposed to end up with. I felt if I lived a life pursing God, and chose someone, God would ultimately just bless the relationship. This is not true and can lead to a lot of hurt. But I knew after he said that I needed to forfeit my right to choose and not compromise my choice due to time, loneliness or inconvenience. If the red flags are there, I promise you they will only get bigger in marriage. If you are being pressured to compromise your convictions or character for the sake of someone else gain then I ask you to take a long hard look at the life and ask yourself if that is what you want for the rest of your life. You get a choice to be single, who you date and you want to marry. Choose wisely.

To be continued..

Thank you for reading my blog. If you have any questions, comments or need prayer for anything please email me at zachary.tyler.white@gmail.com or comment below. Thank you and God Bless!