Friday, August 29, 2014

Unanswered Prayers

I woke up this morning and like many other times I struggled to roll out of bed. Many don't know this about me but I suffer from extreme lower back pain. I was diagnosed with a pinched sciatic nerve in my lower back at age 19. I've gone to multiple chiropractors, doctors and repeatedly stretch every morning. Some days the pain is to unbearable to move, I've had to call off work to stay in bed, I've had trouble tying my shoes at times and some days there is no pain. This has been a struggle for me the past ten years and although I am very active physically it does limit my mobility at times. Only those who are very close to me know that I carry this struggle. I have tried different diets, different ways of sleeping and have researched possible cures but nothing seems to help.

To be honest, I get upset and frustrated and turn to God in my anger. I've had pastors, friends, family and strangers pray over my back for healing, but nothing changes. I've cried out to God on my knees  for him to take away this sharp pain, but nothing changes. Last year, I went to a class called Healing One at  my church, Vineyard Columbus, where we talked about Jesus ministry for healing. The leader of this class has healed people from cancer, deafness, blindness and many other physical healings through prayer. He then wanted to do a demonstration to the class for a physical healing and asked for a volunteer. In a room full of hundreds of people, I was hesitant to raise my hand but eventually thought why not. A man across the room jumped up with excitement and ran to the front saying "I'll do it" and the leader laughed and said that's not how it works, I will pray and God will chose who I will pray over.  In a room full of people, there were probably 20 people who had their hands raised, all needing healing from something. I slowly raised my hand again, hoping not to get picked. After a few minutes of prayer and scanning the room with his eyes he said loudly "Zach" please come forward".

I began thinking to myself, "This is it, this is the moment I am going to be healed forever, thank you Jesus" He asked me where I had pain and I told him I have had lower back pain for the past ten years. He said lets call upon the Lord for healing. He did and we waited. After about five minutes of prayer he called forth another leader in the prayer ministry and she began praying over me. I opened my eyes and realized an entire room of faithful Christians were praying for my healing along with myself. I began praying "God hear our prayers, deliver me from this pain. I have been so faithful and believe you are mighty and can heal me." In that moment I felt the Holy Spirit cover my body, my eyes began to tear up. I felt the presence of the Lord all over my body. After about fifteen minutes of prayer and waiting on the Lord they asked if I still felt pain, I waited, bent over and felt a sharp pain go down my back. The pain was still there. I literally just had hundreds of people praying for me, I believed I could be healed in Jesus mighty name, God why can't you take this pain away?

Then all the sudden the life of Paul surfaced to my mind and God spoke to me "My grace is sufficient." That's not what I wanted to hear, I want to be healed and walk away from this event with 0 pain but that's not what happened. If anything I walked away with more questions and doubt about physical healing. Then it dawned on me, how many prayers God doesn't answer in our lifetime. We will never know why He doesn't answer certain prayers and we will sometimes remain with the hurt. But God hears our prayers and he knows our hearts. If the pain I walked away with that day tells me anything it's that God's presence is better than any pain we go through. God will give us pain to mold us, shape us and help us grow. I'm thankful for the days I am pain free but the days where I struggle to move I call upon Jesus and that is what He ultimately wants. He wants to be at the fore front of our minds. I may never be fully healed from back pain, in fact it may get worse over time but I know that no matter what God has a purpose for it. He may miraculously heal me one day like I have heard from so many others but if he doesn't then I will continue to follow the model of Paul who prayed 3 times for the thorn in his side to go away and when it didn't he simply acknowledged that it was in Gods plan for him to have this temporary pain and that his grace is sufficient. I believe Paul was trying to relate to all of us with this passage. That even though God loves us He does not answer every prayer. His Grace, in other words his love, his mercy, his power is greater than any obstacle we will face on this earth and it is all we need to have peace with our situation. So the answer to prayer in times of pain is not always healing but  to ask for more of Him, more of his presence in your current situation.

A trap the enemy uses is telling people that if God does not answer our prayers then He does not care about us, this could not be further from the truth. If you are struggling with an unanswered prayer I ask you to quietly sit and ask God what is its purpose and how he can be glorified through it. Please hear my heart on this, do not think God does not want to answer prayers, He has answered hundreds of mine but there are difficult things that we struggle with to grow closer to Him. We must continue to bring these request to Him and one day whether it is in this life or the next God will remove all pain.

I look forward to the day when I will run into the arms of my savior and never have pain or sorrow again. There will come a day when Jesus will wipe away every tear from our eyes, and every physical limitation will be defeated until then we must continue to praise him for the prayers that He answers and practice patience for the prayers that do not get answered. Do not let unanswered prayers hinder your faith. Remember the things God has already done in your life and hold on to his goodness. God is so faithful in so many things, do not let an unanswered prayer be used to hinder your relationship with Him. Ask for more of his presence and boast in your weakness because when we are weak, HE is strong! God bless you all and stay faithful!!


Please share or comment if you feel like this story speaks to you. You can also email me at Zachary.tyler.white@gmail.com I love you and will be praying for you!
 

1 comment:

  1. Amen my brother. Wow I praise God for using u both. It's easy to get up in distractions BUT GOD (enough said really) is so patient with us. The Holy Spirit extends the hand to draw us nearer in many ways. Praise El-Elohim.

    ReplyDelete