FEAR

 Fear can cripple a person. I’ve seen fear turn an optimistic person into a pessimist. I’ve seen fear move a person from a place of joy to a place of suffering. I have witnessed people turn down big life opportunities because of the fear of failure. Fear has kept people from leaving bad relationships and from starting new ones. Fear is the voice in the back of your head that holds you back from something that would be life changing. So what is fear? Where does it come from? I think first we must acknowledge a few things about fear. Pastor Andy Stanley  of North Point Church spoke in a message once that “Fear is a constant companion”. You will never live without fear in your life. You can overcome fear one day and be challenged again the next. Some of us may not even recognize the fear in our lives that hold us back from bigger and better opportunities. Since fear is a constant companion, it will either motivate you to do one of two things. It will either motivate you to overcome or submit. You will either shy away from opportunity or you will push forward.

Fear has always been my biggest challenge. I remember being 12 years old on vacation at Myrtle Beach with my family and going for a casual stroll around the city. We came across a theme park and my oldest brother saw a bungee jump tower. He immediately asked my mom if he could do it, Josh was fearless, he walked straight up and jumped off. My mom then asked if I wanted to do it, I was determined to follow in my brother’s footsteps so I said why not. I walked up the 120 foot tower. I got strapped in and looked down, my knees trembled, my heart began to pound and everything in my body told me not to jump. The more I thought about jumping the more I became crippled, my mind changed. What once seemed like a fun idea now seemed like a jump to my death.  A crowd began to gather around the bottom, everyone was seeing my every move and it was nerve racking. Ultimately I chickened out, I walked back down and my brother got to jump a second time. The rest of that trip all I could think about was the opportunity I missed out on to do something great but worse than that I thought how I was controlled by something negative. I felt powerless. Where did that come from?

Today fear looks at each of us differently. It’s an addiction or eating habit that we know is damaging our bodies or relationships but we don’t want to quit. It’s a friend asking us to donate for a 5k but money is tight or perhaps it’s a job opportunity that would cause us to move. Regardless of what it is we are controlled by our thoughts during those experiences. When I decided to follow what Jesus taught in the Bible I feared a lot of things. I feared of losing many of my friends, I feared that I would change and be a different person, that people would judge me more.  All of these thoughts were trying to pull me away from a calling ,and ultimately pulling me away from God. I think a lot of these fears keep people from pursuing faith in Jesus. They fear a rapid change. If I give my life to God that means no more fun, no more swearing, no more drinking, no more partying, no more sex before marriage. NO MORE FUN. People look at the Bible and fear it and I think they need to recognize what they are fearing and where that fear comes from. You are not fearing God, as Jesus talks about in the Bible, you are fearing the Love of God. You are fearing all he has in store for you. Your fear is driven by an enemy deeper than your inner self. Your fear is driven by the ultimate deceiver, a being that finds sheer joy out of tormenting you and keeping your hopes small. Fear comes from Satan. Think about it, the moments you feel closest to God you have no fear at all because perfect love casts out all fear. 1^st John 4:18 says “^“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” If God is love than not even Satan himself can stop that love from pursuing us.

Fear has controlled me in the past and it still controls me at times today. I am about to share a story with you about how fear can stop us from loving others the way God intended. I do not tell you this story to boast about myself but only to reveal how if you do not listen you may miss out on what God may have in store for you.

A few months ago I began looking at buying a house. As the search became more real I began thinking of every little thing I could sell to add to my savings account. I put my old netbook on craigslist and hoped it would sell. It sat on there for a month before I received a random text asking if it was still available. I told them I still had it and to call me that evening. That person called me that evening and asked if I would be willing to meet them in north Columbus. The area he was describing was rather sketchy but I agreed. The moment I hung up the phone I felt God tell me I was going to give it all away. I was not sure if he was referring to the laptop or the money I was going to receive but I fought with him tooth and nail, “Come on God, you know I need this.” As I began the 30 minute drive north I felt more and more conviction to give it away and like many of the people reading this I began thinking of all the things I could do with $100. I pulled into the parking lot of the Giant Eagle and parked near the back by the gas station. I immediately locked my doors the moment I put the car in park. It was about 10pm at night and there was poor lighting in the lot. A girl in ragged jeans and a tank top began riding a bike towards me “Please God don’t let her stop” I prayed as I began questioning her intentions. She pulled right up to my car before circling around it and going on her way, “whew” I thought. Less than ten seconds later I heard a tap on my window. I rolled down my driver’s side window “may I help you”, a guy in his mid 30’s answered “I hope so, do you have a minute” I told him I was meeting someone but would come talk to him when I was done. The man said okay then pointed to his mini van parked behind me. I rolled up the window and asked God to protect me as I was beginning to feel unsafe.

Finally the guy showed up and bought my laptop, everything worked out great but I did not feel led to give it to him or tell him to keep it. I quickly took the $100 and got in my car. I sat for a moment and thought about driving off before hearing God speak to my heart “Go help”, I didn’t want to get out of my car, I feared what would happen. I may get held up, I may be asked to give money to some druggy walking around trying to score his next hit. I turned on my car to drive away and the lyrics on the radio spoke right to my heart “Were you Jesus to the least of us?” I shut it off immediately.  I paused, prayed and got out of my car. I began walking to a large minivan where I saw the guy enter the passenger side door. I tapped on the window and he rolled the car down. A woman sitting the driver’s seat turned away as I saw tears running down her face. I asked what he needed help with, “Buddy, I’m sorry to do this but I have no other options. I need help.” I asked what he needed help with, at that moment a cute little four year old girl popped her head up with a big smile. I heard another boy shout from the back of the car.

Me being nosey, I stuck my head in the car window “those are some great kids you have”. He introduced me to all six of his children, none of them were older than 8 years old im guessing. The little boy yelled my name “Zach” I smiled, “what’s your name buddy?” My name is “Jack Junior” I laughed, that’s a great name Jack. The woman began to cry hysterically, “this is so embarrassing” she admitted. I asked her what was wrong. She went on to tell me how they drove out from Kansas to see her father in the hospital and now they were left homeless with no money and her husband’s job wasn’t coming through. Jack and Helen were the parents’ names. Jack spoke up “I came over to ask you if you could help spare some money to help put our children and us in a hotel for a night and get some food. They haven’t eaten in a few days and were all exhausted.” My heart sank. The look on those children’s faces wasn’t one of desperation, it was of innocence. The parents looked as though all their luck had run out and they were failing as parents. I asked them to step out of the van so I could pray for them.

I asked the couple if they believe in God, they told me they do, “we read our Bible every night.” I smiled “then you will believe me when I say that God told me to come here tonight to provide for you. I have a $100 in my pocket that God wanted me to give to you. I have to tell you that Jesus hears your prayers.” The woman began to tear up again as she gave me a hug “thank you, this is just so embarrassing” I stopped her. “Helen we all need help at some time in our lives. God is faithful and wants you to know he is with you.” I prayed a blessing of love and encouragement to my new brothers and sisters in Christ, gave them the $100 and told them that God ordained our meeting that evening.

Again, I do not tell you this story to brag about a good deed or to point out how Christians should act. I tell this story out of humility. I almost let fear get the best of me. I praise God in all my actions because I know it is not I who would do things like this, its God’s working inside me. I almost put the car in drive and left the parking lot that night. If I would have done that I would have missed out on what God had planned, what he wanted me to do. The truth is there is a lot of things I could have used that money for but I would have been taking away my trust from the ultimate provider and even worse I would have been out of Gods will. Satan did not want me to help that family, he wanted me to leave them hopeless and starving. He wanted those children to suffer and sleep another night in a cold van. I shamefully admit that I feared getting out of my car, even when God told me I would be okay and that He was with me. I can’t express the joy that filled my heart as I left that parking lot knowing I was the answer to someone’s prayer. That I got to play a part in changing someone’s life even if it is something as small as providing a place to stay, some food, a prayer and most importantly the love of Jesus.

Fear will either push you to do great things or it will hold you back. Fear will keep people from pursing faith that will liberate them from their anxiety, doubts and purpose that God has for you. Even a man of faith can be consumed by fear. You will fear a lot of things in life but do not fear Jesus. Do not fear what He wants to do with your life and let him change your heart. I will end this post by sharing that I went back to Myrtle Beach three years later with my family, once again I starred at the bungee jump tower only this time I did not let fear win. I jumped, I survived and fear did not win. I learned a valuable lesson that day, fear will either motivate you to do courageous things or hold you back from the opportunities of life. So what is fear keeping you from doing? Will you overcome it or be crippled by it? My prayer is that this post somehow brings you closer to God and that you begin to learn how to control you fear through prayer!

 

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