Fear has always been my biggest challenge. I remember being
12 years old on vacation at Myrtle Beach with my family and going for a casual
stroll around the city. We came across a theme park and my oldest brother saw a
bungee jump tower. He immediately asked my mom if he could do it, Josh was
fearless, he walked straight up and jumped off. My mom then asked if I wanted
to do it, I was determined to follow in my brother’s footsteps so I said why
not. I walked up the 120 foot tower. I got
strapped in and looked down, my knees trembled, my heart began to pound and
everything in my body told me not to jump. The more I thought about jumping the
more I became crippled, my mind changed. What once seemed like a fun idea now
seemed like a jump to my death. A crowd began to gather around the bottom,
everyone was seeing my every move and it was nerve racking. Ultimately I
chickened out, I walked back down and my brother got to jump a second time. The
rest of that trip all I could think about was the opportunity I missed out on
to do something great but worse than that I thought how I was controlled by
something negative. I felt powerless. Where did that come from?
Today fear looks at each of us differently. It’s an
addiction or eating habit that we know is damaging our bodies or relationships but we don’t want
to quit. It’s a friend asking us to donate for a 5k but money is tight or
perhaps it’s a job opportunity that would cause us to move. Regardless of what
it is we are controlled by our thoughts during those experiences. When I
decided to follow what Jesus taught in the Bible I feared a lot of things. I
feared of losing many of my friends, I feared that I would change and be a
different person, that people would judge me more. All of these thoughts were trying to pull me
away from a calling ,and ultimately pulling me away from God. I think a lot of these fears
keep people from pursuing faith in Jesus. They fear a rapid change. If I give
my life to God that means no more fun, no more swearing, no more drinking, no
more partying, no more sex before marriage. NO MORE FUN. People look at the
Bible and fear it and I think they need to recognize what they are fearing and
where that fear comes from. You are not fearing God, as Jesus talks about in
the Bible, you are fearing the Love of God. You are fearing all he has in store
for you. Your fear is driven by an enemy deeper than your inner self. Your fear
is driven by the ultimate deceiver, a being that finds sheer joy out of
tormenting you and keeping your hopes small. Fear comes from Satan. Think about
it, the moments you feel closest to God you have no fear at all because perfect
love casts out all fear. 1st John 4:18 says ““There
is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do
with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
If God is love than not even Satan himself can stop that love from pursuing us.
Fear has controlled me in the past and it still controls me
at times today. I am about to share a story with you about how fear can stop us
from loving others the way God intended. I do not tell you this story to boast
about myself but only to reveal how if you do not listen you may miss out on
what God may have in store for you.
A few months ago I began looking at buying a house. As the
search became more real I began thinking of every little thing I could sell to
add to my savings account. I put my old netbook on craigslist and hoped it
would sell. It sat on there for a month before I received a random text asking
if it was still available. I told them I still had it and to call me that
evening. That person called me that evening and asked if I would be willing to
meet them in north Columbus. The area he was describing was rather sketchy but
I agreed. The moment I hung up the phone I felt God tell me I was going to give
it all away. I was not sure if he was referring to the laptop or the money I
was going to receive but I fought with him tooth and nail, “Come on God, you
know I need this.” As I began the 30 minute drive north I felt more and more
conviction to give it away and like many of the people reading this I began
thinking of all the things I could do with $100. I pulled into the parking lot
of the Giant Eagle and parked near the back by the gas station. I immediately
locked my doors the moment I put the car in park. It was about 10pm at night
and there was poor lighting in the lot. A girl in ragged jeans and a tank top
began riding a bike towards me “Please God don’t let her stop” I prayed as I
began questioning her intentions. She pulled right up to my car before circling
around it and going on her way, “whew” I thought. Less than ten seconds later I
heard a tap on my window. I rolled down my driver’s side window “may I help
you”, a guy in his mid 30’s answered “I hope so, do you have a minute” I told
him I was meeting someone but would come talk to him when I was done. The man
said okay then pointed to his mini van parked behind me. I rolled up the window
and asked God to protect me as I was beginning to feel unsafe.
Finally the guy showed up and bought my laptop, everything
worked out great but I did not feel led to give it to him or tell him to keep
it. I quickly took the $100 and got in my car. I sat for a moment and thought
about driving off before hearing God speak to my heart “Go help”, I didn’t want
to get out of my car, I feared what would happen. I may get held up, I may be
asked to give money to some druggy walking around trying to score his next hit.
I turned on my car to drive away and the lyrics on the radio spoke right to my
heart “Were you Jesus to the least of us?” I shut it off immediately. I paused, prayed and got out of my car. I
began walking to a large minivan where I saw the guy enter the passenger side
door. I tapped on the window and he rolled the car down. A woman sitting the driver’s
seat turned away as I saw tears running down her face. I asked what he needed
help with, “Buddy, I’m sorry to do this but I have no other options. I need
help.” I asked what he needed help with, at that moment a cute little four year
old girl popped her head up with a big smile. I heard another boy shout from
the back of the car.
Me being nosey, I stuck my head in the car window “those are
some great kids you have”. He introduced me to all six of his children, none of
them were older than 8 years old im guessing. The little boy yelled my name
“Zach” I smiled, “what’s your name buddy?” My name is “Jack Junior” I laughed,
that’s a great name Jack. The woman began to cry hysterically, “this is so
embarrassing” she admitted. I asked her what was wrong. She went on to tell me
how they drove out from Kansas to see her father in the hospital and now they
were left homeless with no money and her husband’s job wasn’t coming through.
Jack and Helen were the parents’ names. Jack spoke up “I came over to ask you
if you could help spare some money to help put our children and us in a hotel
for a night and get some food. They haven’t eaten in a few days and were all
exhausted.” My heart sank. The look on those children’s faces wasn’t one of
desperation, it was of innocence. The parents looked as though all their luck
had run out and they were failing as parents. I asked them to step out of the
van so I could pray for them.
I asked the couple if they believe in God, they told me they
do, “we read our Bible every night.” I smiled “then you will believe me when I
say that God told me to come here tonight to provide for you. I have a $100 in
my pocket that God wanted me to give to you. I have to tell you that Jesus
hears your prayers.” The woman began to tear up again as she gave me a hug
“thank you, this is just so embarrassing” I stopped her. “Helen we all need
help at some time in our lives. God is faithful and wants you to know he is
with you.” I prayed a blessing of love and encouragement to my new brothers and
sisters in Christ, gave them the $100 and told them that God ordained our
meeting that evening.
Again, I do not tell you this story to brag about a good
deed or to point out how Christians should act. I tell this story out of
humility. I almost let fear get the best of me. I praise God in all my actions because
I know it is not I who would do things like this, its God’s working inside me.
I almost put the car in drive and left the parking lot that night. If I would
have done that I would have missed out on what God had planned, what he wanted
me to do. The truth is there is a lot of things I could have used that money for
but I would have been taking away my trust from the ultimate provider and even
worse I would have been out of Gods will. Satan did not want me to help that
family, he wanted me to leave them hopeless and starving. He wanted those
children to suffer and sleep another night in a cold van. I shamefully admit
that I feared getting out of my car, even when God told me I would be okay and
that He was with me. I can’t express the joy that filled my heart as I left
that parking lot knowing I was the answer to someone’s prayer. That I got to
play a part in changing someone’s life even if it is something as small as
providing a place to stay, some food, a prayer and most importantly the love of
Jesus.
Fear will either push you to do great things or it will hold
you back. Fear will keep people from pursing faith that will liberate them from
their anxiety, doubts and purpose that God has for you. Even a man of faith can
be consumed by fear. You will fear a lot of things in life but do not fear
Jesus. Do not fear what He wants to do with your life and let him change your
heart. I will end this post by sharing that I went back to Myrtle Beach three
years later with my family, once again I starred at the bungee jump tower only
this time I did not let fear win. I jumped, I survived and fear did not win. I
learned a valuable lesson that day, fear will either motivate you to do
courageous things or hold you back from the opportunities of life. So what is fear keeping you from doing? Will you overcome it or be crippled by it? My prayer is that this post somehow brings you closer to God and that you begin to learn how to control you fear through prayer!
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you for reading and God Bless You!!!
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