Faith Like Crazy!!

I sometimes think I am crazy. To be honest, when I first began my walk with Christ nothing made sense and I more or less thought the spiritual high I was experiencing was temporary. As the days turned into weeks and weeks to months I realized that it wasn’t anything that I was doing to feel great but the feeling of God working inside me. Like a glass vase, God began cleaning out all the clutter to cleanse me. Fear overtook my mind as I worried more about what people would think, I constantly felt like everyone around me was judging me, I realize now where that fear came from, Satan. God used this time to allow me to pour into him more, I continued reading his Word and in return He would reveal more and more truth to me. 

The past two years I have questioned if my faith is genuine, is it really me who desires this change or is me just wanting a better imagine. Thoughts began to creep into my mind that maybe I should go back to my old self just to prove that I can get back to this spiritual high. This past month I have been tempted to get drunk more than I have been the past year and a half. Satan has pushed me to think that if I fall from Grace I could show Gods overwhelming love and forgiveness through my mistakes. That if I start dating the way I used to I could get the woman of my dreams faster, that I must compromise my convictions in order to find happiness. To be completely honest, I desired all of these things. I wanted parts of the old me back, yet I didn’t fall into temptation. I was left powerless, even driving by bars being tempted to stop. I remembered God’s promise “I will give you everything your heart desires if you follow my commands.”

 For you that do not know my testimony God spoke to me on December 25^th, 2011 to give up alcohol and since then I haven’t touched a drop. Since this moment he has blessed me with an amazing job where I teach and inspired at-risk children every day. He has given me a ministry with my childhood best friends where I help lead young adults to Christ. He has surrounded me with more love and support while disconnecting me from some of the people who were filling my head with negativity. God had blessed my finances to the point where I have not worried about money for over a year. Even after He has kept up all his He has promised me I still have the temptation to turn my back on him. I thank God every day for my repentant heart because I know I am powerless without Jesus.

So what allowed me to keep pressing on in my moments of weakness, when I had the thoughts that a sip of beer was not the end of the world? I thought back to what my life was like before I gave up alcohol. I struggled to find peace, happiness and consistency. I remember I had finally had the faith I have always wanted, the assurance that God is with me everywhere I go. Most importantly I remembered that I had to fight for my faith. You must fight for your relationship with Jesus. God promises to never leave or forsake us but that does not mean we don’t have to put in any work to improve that relationship. Going to church and reading our Bible’s do not bring us closer to Christ. Practicing what Jesus taught us, brings us closer. Too many Christians are concerned about doing more good than bad in their life, they do not understand the principals of grace. God has already forgiven us, once you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior you are forever heaven bound. He does not want us to continue walking in ignorance but rather lean and turn to him more through prayer and devotion.

FAITH LIKE CRAZY

When I used to work in a nursing home I would go visit a resident who was bed ridden. She could not walk anymore but this woman had a smile that would light up a dark room. As I sat by her bed comforting her as she embraced the fact that her life was nearing the end, she asked how my life was going. I told her I was struggling with some changes in my life and that another resident named Lorraine was encouraging me with words from the Bible. I will forever remember her response as it still plays a part in my walk today, she said “I wish I had her faith”. I couldn’t help but feel sad for this poor woman. Here she was, a Christian, lying on her death bed, wishing she had more faith. Here I am, a young twenty something with the world in front of me and plagued with self-doubt. I remember her words whenever I step foot into a parking lot to do bar ministry.  I remembered those words when I questioned why I left my safe home in Columbus to travel to one of the most dangerous places in the world, Haiti, during my 2 week vacation but I remembered that God had sent me, I had my faith. I live a rather fearless life but deep down I am scared of every choice I make, I just remember those words echoing in my head “I wish I had her faith.”

The only way to improve your faith is by walking where you cannot see and letting God lead you. I have to remind myself daily to fight for my relationship with God because the truth is there is an evil in this world who will stop at nothing to disrupt that relationship. A force that wants you to feel hung over, who wants you to experience fear, doubt and emptiness. A fear that wants you to be unhappy with your current job, how much money you make or the miniscule ways your loved ones do not measure up to your expectations. The fear that tells me that life can get better with another drink, having a girlfriend and hoarding my money in fear that God will not provide. Lately I have been fighting whether I have been to quiet. I began praying this week for God to give me strength and insight on how to bring him into conversations even though I may look or feel like that “crazy Christian”. But the words “I wish I had her faith” echo in my head.

When I become overwhelmed with these thoughts I fight back with Satan, I begin to tell him the truth “look at all the churches in the world, look at all the believers, do you see all the crosses tattooed on people, do you see all the prayer request on Facebook, do you listen to the sermons at weddings and funerals. God is all around me, Christ is alive everywhere I go.” I am not crazy if anything the world needs more faith. We need more Christians stepping out of their comfort zone to represent Jesus publicly. Do not downplay your faith because one day you will reflect back and you will wish you had faith like crazy. If you are reading this and you are on the fence with your faith ask yourself this, do you believe God created this world or do you believe you are here by accident, ask yourself if you find security in those thoughts? I guarantee you do not and there is a God shaped hole that you cannot substitute with profound thoughts and logic. Quit trying to disprove God and begin asking him to give you the answers, you will be amazed that there is a God who is trying to communicate with you but like a telephone you have to answer in order to hear who is on the other line. Open your heart in prayer. Do I still think I am crazy? Absolutely!! But I also remember the words of that dying woman “I wish I had her faith” and I remember that I have to fight for my relationship with God and if I feel crazy it just means that Satan wants to silence me from telling the world about Jesus and a God who loves them unconditionally.  

Thank you for reading and please “share” on Facebook to help spread this message. You can also subscribe now by adding your email on the right side. Do not be silent with your faith, have faith like crazy! Thanks and God Bless!!