How was Haiti?

“How was Haiti?” Over the last week I have received emails, text, facebook messages, tweets, phone calls and have been approached with this question in person. To be honest, it was the question I dreaded most while boarding my plane flight home. I could give you the surfaced answer of “it was fun, great, and enjoyable” or I could give you my honest opinion. The one people don’t want to hear.

As I waited in Port-Au-Prince, Haiti airport for my flight heading to Fort Lauderdale I struck up a conversation with an American woman who was there visiting her boyfriends parents. We began talking about our experiences in Haiti. She asked what I was doing there and I told her I was sent here to help start an orphanage, I then asked what she did in her time here. Her response was as follows “I flew in to visit my boyfriends parents, they live outside of Port-Au-Prince, thank goodness, I am trying my best to block out the images of everything I saw to and from the airport.” So in response I asked her “why?”, her faced looked confused, she finally answered “its sad to see how these people live, I don’t want to think about all these people suffering.”

This response does not shock me, in fact it was the same things this lady saw that brought me to tears every time someone asked me “How was Haiti?”. The day I flew home from Haiti I had a layover flight in Tampa. My good friend Dave Whittaker used some of his points to bless me with a hotel room for the evening so I could get a shower and good nights rest. I took a long, hot shower before crawling into my nicely made King size bed. You would think after a week of hard labor I would be out cold the minute my head hit the pillow but I became restless. My mind began to think of all the children that had to eat rice and beans everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The missionaries who gave up their comfortable American life style to bathe every night using a bucket of cold water. I began to ask God, why am I so lucky? Why did I deserve to be born in the U.S. where our poor would be considered wealthier than some of the rich in Haiti.

The next day I boarded a 6:30am flight headed to Charlotte, North Carolina and once again tears streamed down my face as I thought about my time in Haiti. I texted a friend asking him to pray for me, to make sense of this week long journey that has left me physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. That Saturday I returned back to Ohio around 10:30am, my plan was to shower and sleep but once again my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about Haiti. As I watched the NFL playoffs games I tried to be enthusiastic but it was hard to be excited about a sporting event when all around the world people are hurting. That night I went to bed and prayed for all the people of Haiti and then I prayed that God use me to make a difference here in the United States, to bring glory to Him and His kingdom.

I woke up in the morning after a bad night of sleep, I went to church and was approached by multiple people excited about my return. Everyone wanted to know how my trip to Haiti went, I am so blessed to have so many loving people in my life who care. My pastor approached me and shook my hand and asked how the trip went, I got two words out before my first tear left my eye. To me this question would be equivalent to asking newlyweds “How was your wedding” or asking first time parents “how was the birth of your child”, words will never do it justice and I could not sum up this entire experience with a few short sentences.

After church my mom was excited to take me out to breakfast and hear all about my trip. I explained to her how I was not ready to talk about all the details but like mothers do she had a way of getting me to open up. She wanted to know what I was going through so she could help. The only way I could put it was to refer to a Christian song by Casting Crowns called Jesus, friend of sinners. During the song there is a part where the lead singer cries out “Break our hearts for what breaks yours”, after speaking this line to my mother my heart poured out “Mom, I asked God to break my heart for what breaks his and now my heart is broken.” I tried my best to hold back tears but I failed, I put my head down in shame. I look to my left and see two plates deserted on a table with half the food left on them, “less than 48 hours ago I was surrounded by people begging me for food, children were picking through the trash to fill their stomachs so that they can live another day, I’m struggling to make sense of all this”.

The next day I returned to my middle school to teach, before my first class started I sat at my desk and listened to worship music. Two teachers entered my room, refreshed after a long two week break they asked “How was Haiti?” I couldn’t hold back, “I’m struggling guys” I held back tears once again and continued “I want to be here, I want to teach these kids, but I am finding it hard.” They asked what I was struggling with to which I responded “three days ago I was holding a 4 year old orphan who was dying in my arms, she had an increased heart rate, fever, scabies, dehydration and was diagnosed terminally ill.” I could tell by the looks on their faces they regretted coming into my classroom. “I bet you regret asking me ‘How was Haiti’ huh?” He smiled at me and said “Zach you have had a long week serving God, but He will get you through this.” Throughout the day that co-worker was texting me “It ain’t over until God says it’s over. So keep pressing, keep moving, progressing it’s not over.” And he is right. God’s glory still reigns on Haiti, it still shines on the United States. I can tell God needed to break my heart with this trip to make room for something bigger, a purpose He needs me to live out.

I keep praying for God’s guidance and comfort and He keeps putting a word on my heart, “awareness”. He wants me to make people aware that we are fortunate. He wants me to inspire people to donate to these orphans, to missionaries. He wants me organize mission trips so that people young and old can go and witness what I felt, so their eyes will be opened and their hearts will be changed. As a society we should not want to block out the bad things, the suffering, the minute we do we are rejecting the people God calls on us to love. The ones he left us to care for. So if your wondering “How was Haiti?” my prayer is that one day you will know the honest truth. That you won’t be like the woman in the airport who wants to block out the hurt of the world. My hope is that through God, through this blog post, you will be in some way be inspired to seek out who you can help and take action. I am so thankful for the people who donated to my trip, for the people who prayed for my protection and for the people who ask how my trip to Haiti went. For through these actions I am able to spread Gods love, his word and help others become aware of a world we sometimes reject. Please take a moment and thank God for all he has given you in your life, all the blessings and all the obstacles you had to overcome. Lastly pray for the people of Haiti and that God continues to send his messengers there to love the unloved.


If you would like prayer for anything or just need encouragement please email me at Zachary.Tyler.White@gmail.com Lastly if you feel people need to hear this message please click "Like" or share on Facebook. People need to be reminded to be thankful and we need to bring awareness to the hurting people of this world. Thank you and God Bless!!